I was talking with my sister, Kate, this afternoon, and she brought up how she has different relationships with my girls. She mentioned that she felt a deeper bond with Matilda - and she concluded that it was because she moved away almost a year ago, and hasn't been able to see the girls as often.

I thought about it, and I feel the same. Except I didn't move away. I remember so much from when Matilda was a baby - and when I think back to Audrey's first 12 months, I don't remember much. Is it because I'd been through it all already, and it wasn't as significant? Does any other mom of 2 or more feel the same? I love Audrey so much, but I just don't feel the same connection I have with Matilda. I'm sure I'm not supposed to have the same connection with both my daughters. . . But I almost feel guilty for not remembering or documenting special events - like when she took her first steps or got her first tooth. I did for Matilda, but maybe I then realized it wasn't so important. . . ?

When the seasons change, I tend to think back to what special days happen during that time and think of how the girls were the year before. Everything is a blur from last year. However, I do need to keep in mind that last year was a hard year for me and a total mess in our family. It is getting better though - I can at least handle some things now instead of losing my mind! I haven't scrap booked for almost a year as well. I'd like to get back into it, but I need some new supplies and to order photos, and right now, because I can't work, it looks like all that is going on my Christmas wish list. Soon though! Soon! The girls will be in school and I'll have time to do something to help earn some money. Right now though, I know where I need to be. Even if it does mean we're poor!

On another note - my back is miraculously feeling better. I was able to go shopping today with barely any pain. I felt so good I wanted to dance - but that would have been a bad idea, and I probably would have thrown something in my back out. We'll see how the next few days go!!